Obituary - A Very Important Member Has Died
Anonymous

One of the most important members of this congregation died recently and very few realized it. He died FROM OVERWORK. How much do you really care? The following obituary tells the story.

The church was bowed in grief this week to learn that one of our most valuable members, SOMEONE ELSE, passed away. This death creates a vacancy that will be difficult to fill. Someone Else has been with us for many years. During all these years, he did far more than a normal person's share of the work. Whenever leadership was mentioned this wonderful person was looked to for inspiration and results.

Whenever there was a job to do—a class to teach, or a meeting to attend—one name was on everybody's list, "Let Someone Else do it."

Someone else was also among the largest givers of the church. Whenever there was a financial need, everyone just assumed that Someone Else would make up the difference.

This beloved church member was a wonderful person, sometimes appearing super-human; but a person can only do so much. Everybody expected too much of Someone Else.

Now, Someone Else is gone. Who will pitch in to do the things that Someone Else has done? If you are asked to take a job in church, we hope you won't reply, "Let Someone Else do it." Now we need you to pick up where Someone Else left off. (Via "Pause-Pander-Profit").

Nobody
Anonymous

Fred Somebody, Thomas Everybody, Pete Anybody, and Joe Nobody were neighbors, but they were not like you and me. They were odd people, and most difficult to understand. The way they lived was a shame.

All four belonged to the same church but you wouldn't have enjoyed worshipping with them. Everybody went fishing on Sunday or stayed home to visit friends. Anybody wanted to worship, but was afraid Somebody would not speak to him so Nobody went to church. Nobody did the visitation. Nobody worked on the church building. Once they needed a teacher for a Bible class, and Somebody thought Everybody would teach. Guess who finally did it? That’s right... Nobody.

It happened that a fifth neighbor (an unbeliever) came to live among them. Everybody thought Somebody might try to win him. Anybody could have at least made an effort but guess who won him to the Lord? That's right… Nobody

Why Do Churches Die?
by John Iverson

I have seen many churches that I believed were dead. I have seen "strong" congregations wither and die. I have never seen one die because its members attended themselves to death. nor have I seen one die because its members gave themselves to death. Neither have I ever seen one die because of the purity, faithfulness and zeal of its members.

Churches don't die because of the giving, attending, purity, faithfulness, and zeal of its members. There are many corpses of dead churches which have died because their members were filled with worldliness. unfaithfulness, and a lack of respect for God's word.

If the church is to remain alive and grow, the members must attend the services, give as they have been prospered, serve God faithfully, and keep themselves unspotted from the world

Dead?
Anonymous

A preacher found himself working hard with a struggling congregation in the west, Some of the members told him that they were surprised that he have ever come there—that it was a dead congregation. Then one day the community was astonished when they read a funeral notice in the paper. The church had died, and the funeral service was to be held on Wednesday of that week at 7:45 PM.

Curious, the whole community flocked out to the service. There was funeral music. There was a funeral sermon in which the minister told of all the good the church had done in the distant past. There was an open casket up near the pulpit.

Following the service, the minister invited the people to file by the casket and view the remains of the dead church. As the people filed by, they quickly turned away with red faces. What had they seen that made their faces turn red? A mirror had been placed in the bottom of the casket and as they peered into the casket they saw themselves. They were the dead church.